The chapter on the fourth step in Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions describes our dysfunctional relations well: "But it is from our twisted relations with family, friends, and society at large that many of us have suffered the most. We have been especially stupid and stubborn about them. The primary fact that we failed to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being."
I went through my entire life unable to interact with others on an intimate level. I was incapable of allowing others to experience me as I truly was and I was unwilling to allow others to share with me their own true self. I would present to the world what I thought the world needed to see about me so I could feel good and safe about myself. In the past, the relationships I did have were of the type which, when I was done taking that which I wanted from them and them from me, the relationship was over. I was incapable of FORMING AND SUSTAINING RELATIONSHIPS in an honest and caring way with other human beings.
The greatest gift I have received from developing a personal relationship with God is the ability to interact with other human beings at an honest and true level - therefore forming and sustaining relationships that are caring and loving, loyal and trust-giving. My landing on such soil from which these relations sprout was done simply, but not easily, by going through the twelve steps of the program of AA. This can occur for any who return to the being God created and meant for them to be. When this does occur, human potential is maximized and becoming a recovered, unbroken being is completely possible.
The key relationship word for me is "true." Yes, of course I had relationships before I began drinking, while I was drinking, and after I stopped drinking. I had a family, friends, colleagues,, thousands of acquaintances. But no true relationships. All my interactions, even the most intimate, were felled by inadequacy, untruth, and self-centered obsession. I possessed the ability to form lasting partnerships but I lacked the capability to do so. AA intervened in the form of The Twelve Steps which led me to the presence of The Power Within me. From that Power, everything changed. I was enablef by Divine Grace to be moved from the untrue to the true. In The Fourth Step, I had to confront me, and in The Fifth Step, I had to let go of all of me. Thus, I could begin a living relationship with myself through my relationship with The Power Within me. All other relationships now exist as a result of that miraculous transformation. My spirit thirsted for wholeness, my existence yearned to be true. I am free to form and trust true relationships.
ReplyDeleteMichael "Truth" - it is a great gift received by integrating the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous into our life. Our false self fueled by ego is replaced by truth fueled by love powered by the grace of God...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteThis Comment Is From A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
ReplyDeleteFrom my earliest youth I was taught the Way, the Truth and the Light... but I chose a path littered with bleached and brittle bones. Everyone and everything I encountered was another opportunity to put meat on my table and satisfy the ever growing insatiable appetites of a wondering scavenger whose only true skill was deception. Lying was my life. My life was my prison. Drinking my futile attempt at escape from the carnage left in my wake and justify creating another.
But, somebody was praying for me. Perhaps it was a family member, perhaps it was a neighbor. Perhaps it was one of the many people I had harmed in my self-centered black hole of a life. But somebody was inspired by God to place me on their prayer list and having been miraculously delivered from a self imposed prison of misdirected survival skills that fund me at the precipice of an ignominious death, I was delivered. In the rooms of AA I have surrendered my life. I have passed my pen to the Master Planner and moved from prisoner to pilgrim.
It has not always been without struggle. Life is not a consistent encounter with rainbows and unicorns. I still must contend with the ever-present seductions of the world and though now graciously subdued, the ever present calling of the appetites of my flesh. But throughout every encounter His grace abounds. This new life is no longer dependent totally upon me. The eternal struggle is no longer encountered alone and the mystery for managing the transition has now been laid before me with a simple clarity that only comes through an ever expanding relationship with the only True Source of Power, Light and Love.
That divine gift of willingness, that "Grain of a mustard seed of faith," spoken of in Matthew 19-20; is no longer light years away. My willingness now grows by every encounter with life's former problems and perplexities into a deep and abiding faith. I can now experience Gods people as true brothers and sisters and desired gifts from above, as every encounter reveals the only true touchstones of faith, love and compassion growing an unyielding devotion to the Author and Finisher of this new journey and the unspeakable richness of the mind and plan of God.
In Steps 4 and 5 The Author provided the Holy Spirit who now resides within me. He reminds me of the simple steps that first brought me to this place. He teaches that truth without love is pride and that love without truth is mere sentimentality. That the purpose of life and all of His creation is an eternal relationship by, with and through Him... When all around seems vexed and troubled. When confusion and conflict abound. He compels the surrender of every encounter within life's lesson plan and gently reminds it has been lovingly written into eternity, just for me, that I may continue to discover Him as He truly is.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic through Him and In Him all things are possible. Even peace and joy...Thank you...Armand
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