Powerlessness Understood

                           So much has been accomplished and a good portion of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous has been completed but now the personal relationship with and the dependence on God takes on a much deeper and all encompassing meaning.
               In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous in the chapter How It Works it says, "we are in the world to play the role God assigns."  I have learned through experience that this may be accomplished through the practice of the Twelve Steps and specifically by integrating Step Eleven into my life.   But it is the Tenth Step through daily examination where we uncover that our character defects continue to manifest themselves in our behavior, even though this reaction to life is not what we want.  It is here in the conflict of not wanting to manifest my character defects in my behavior but POWERLESS  not to have this occur that I am thrown back into Step One and I can now clearly see that I am not only powerless over my use of alcohol but I am powerless over every aspect of my life.  I had previously learned, at a cognitive level, that all my life must be given to the care and direction of God but now through personal experience I perceive this with more clarity and at a much deeper level.
               It is in the taking of the daily inventory that we begin to fully understand the power and pervasiveness of our character defects encoded in our human nature.  To overcome the manifestation of our character defects in our behavior we must subrogate our human nature too and we must abandon ourselves utterly to the will of God for it is in the infinite power and love of God that we are healed.