In the Step Book it says and this is paraphrased, a continuous look back at our liabilities and a real desire to grow by this means are necessities for us. We alcoholics have learned this the hard way. More experienced people of course, in all times and places, have practiced unsparing self survey and criticism. For the wise have always known that no one can make much of one's life until self searching becomes a regular habit, until one is able to ADMIT AND ACCEPT what is found.
Through my daily inventory I can now admit and accept that my character defects are a part of my human nature, a part of my nature that cannot manifest itself if I am living in the will of God. I have come to understand that my human nature is defected and I must accept this about myself.
In the program of Alcoholics Anonymous it is often said "let go and let God." The let go is turning from the incessant prompts of our human nature and the let God is living in and thereby manifesting the will of God. In the will of God, the nature of God, our character defects cannot be manifested in our behavior and it is here that our nature has been perfected as we have become the human being that God created us to be.
Self survey is a powerful tool of recovery.
The idea that I had to take a deep look at myself is something I rigorously avoided - fear of what I'd find. Through the Steps of AA, I learned something more powerful than fear - Trust. I learned what, at first, seemed counter-intuitive: that I had to look deeply into my human nature in order to acknowledge its grip on me, and then to let it go. In attempting to love myself, I focused on applying my human nature to my human nature which rendered disillusioning results. Once my spirit was awakened, nothing else was required of me. Let go and let God.
ReplyDeleteMy initial spiritual awakening was a realization that a change was starting to occur in the way that I looked at things. When I looked what did I see, my entire being was now influenced by the Spirit of my Higher Power, I admitted & accepted my condition . A change is essential for me to stay sober. How did I deal with these changes, I didn't , by the process of letting go & letting God's will run my life, spiritual awakenings became automatic to a new life . Just the fact that I didn't drink alcohol today, did not drive drunk today, not being buged , or impatient towards others are all miracles in themselves , makes me aware that I am now living in a state of higher consciousness . My thoughts and actions are part of God mind set! My time is now focused on serving God & others instead of my self seeking nature. A change is going to occur as long as I am practicing these principles in all my affairs . Admittance & acceptance are the keys to my recovery .
ReplyDeleteMichael One must relinquish control in order to trust. The program of Alcoholics Anonymous is not asking us to trust but rather demands it of us if we are to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. Admitting and accepting what is found in a Fourth Step then a daily inventory and eventually a conscious inventory is a result of or rather a reward of allowing the trust to occur...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteDon Obviously a change has occurred for you which has lead you to a higher consciousness as evidenced by your new found usefulness and your enthusiasm for participating in God's work. As a friend may I say keep it up...Thank you...Armand .
ReplyDeleteAdmit and Accept
ReplyDeleteArmand,
It was my base instinct for survival that compelled my first surrender and opened the door to Eternal Light. As my journey continues the clouds of mystery begin to dissolve. I have been pulled from the wilderness and placed on a path, a very narrow path and although at first the location appears somewhat vague I am at peace with the knowledge that the destination is secure. But the path appears fearfully uneven with pitfalls along the way.
As I wrestle this fearful conundrum He recalls to my heart the words of Chapter 5, "We asked His protection and care with complete abandon." And I sense I'm about to further plumb the depths and breath of the meaning of "complete", but not out of mere desperation, but a conscience act of the will. I drop to my knees and fervently seek the One who has placed me here, Who lovingly reminds that I have abandoned my desire to become my own worst nightmare and the path that served as a living definition of "the broad road that leads to destruction."
He reminds me "It's a simple program" that I all too often fearfully choose to make complex. I need only to place my weaknesses before Him and failure is replaced by forgiveness and fear is replaced by faith. He is my Constant Compass and His Word is now my map. My one true and only source of security, in every insecurity, encountered along the road.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
A Grateful Recovering Alcoholic Just love the line " my one true and only source of security , in every insecurity." I view that as the insecurity that is always present in my human nature has no effect upon me as I am trusting in God and living in His will....Thank you so much...Armand
ReplyDelete