Having shared the Fifth Step with myself and another human being, having exhibited a sense of humility, having acquired a clarity of mind and a sense of peace I was emboldened to complete the final piece of the Fifth Step. That is to admit to God the exact nature of my wrongs. I met my sponsor at a small chapel and initially I was fine until he swung open the doors to the chapel and I looked down the center isle to the alter. I became immediately aware of the quiet and the state of holiness about. I froze for a moment and swallowed hard. I fully realized that in the next few moments I would experience the most profound event I had ever participated in. In this time and in this moment I was to seek the forgiveness of God for all I had done wrong in the past. We slowly knelt down and my sponsor prayed in the way that only he can and when he was done praying I shared the exact nature of my wrongs with God. I had completed the Fifth Step.
Since then I have participated in many Fifth Steps with people that I have read the Big Book with and it is such a humbling experience to be a part of. It is when I feel the most helpful as a human being and the most complete. Recently I did a Fifth Step with someone and as we were leaving the Church he said "I know that for centuries people like you have helped people like me do what we did today, but today was the day that I had the opportunity to participate in it."
Yes it is a special experience to feel the nearness of God and to share that with another. It is an experience that is not meant to be missed. A complete cleansing of the past, a sense of forgiveness and a clean slate of life coupled with a new relationship with God.
Your Fifth Step description is powerfully worded and reminiscent of my personal experience in doing mine. Words, though, are inadequate in comprehending the exact nature of the experience, the rebirth of the spirit within. I will be forever grateful that I did not "miss it" because I almost did. And I know the difference. Thanks for getting below the bottom line of Recovery as facilitated through the humility made present in the Fifth Step.
ReplyDeleteFor this alcoholic my first real move towards humility was getting a sponsor. To look at another human being in the eye and truly seek help and except it was definitely a move in the proper direction.
ReplyDeleteI was one who never sought help for anything other than something that had monetary advance. If I had to open up to another about anything , I would be threatened due to the fact that it would expose me to weaknesses. Again what I thought was instinctive was delusional .
The needs that were locked into my mind were corrupted from years of repetitive disapusionment . After admission , willingness , and acceptance in self, I was in need of a guide. The sponsor that was put before me was recognized thru my first inspirational experience, I knew it was inspired because the sponsor suggested that I reject my instinctive nature. To have a relationship with a sponsor has given me the awareness that another human could be leaned on and that my powerlessness was so much more broad than I ever could imagine. By taking my 5th step with sponsor and admitting the exact nature of my wrongs to him and God was humbling. Now helping another through the same process has the same power . The power of humility . Witnessing another's humility is a humbling experience for me . Watching a power greater than oneself restore another to sanity makes life worthwhile and full . I am so small in God's creation !
Michael The Fifth Step is a humbling experience that leads to a new found freedom from which a real life can be built...Thank You for your comment...Armand
ReplyDeleteDon Thank you for sharing your experience with the Fifth Step...Armand
ReplyDeleteThis comment is from A Grateful Recovering Alcoholic
ReplyDeleteA Fifth Step Story
Armand,
Bless you for sharing your personal experience of that miraculous event. Especially the all too real feelings of impending doom that precede this most holy conversation. But the floor beneath doesn't droop away, nor do we plunge head first into some fiery pit of self imposed eternal damnation. Remarkably, as Michael C. has implied, we are met instead by a tidal wave of limitless Mercy, and Love beyond speaking. We discover that the very God of eternity, the One whom we had cursed, rejected and at times despised has been all the while; patiently, watchfully and yes joyfully waiting in that very place to reunite with His errant child.
Before we utter a word we discover He envelops the humble attitude of our hearts with a Love and Compassion beyond telling. But, like the "Prodigal" written of in Luke 15:11-32 we continue our "confession" anyway, even as waves of forgiveness wash away every remaining spec of gilt and shame associated with our past. And as we receive Him in our hearts we discover He has already received us in His, as our only Savior and Lord. In that eternal instant we become, literally... A new creation.
But the encounter isn't finished... It's only just begun, for He imparts to us not only Peace in His presence but an unquenchable desire to encounter Him more completely, and to exercise the power contained in the newly discovered gifts He has bestowed as fully embraced and lovingly cherished members of His eternal family. We discover that the heretofore insurmountable and mysterious wall that once concealed the "Simple" in the "Program of AA" has been removed, completely swept away by the unseen Hand of God who created us to experience this very moment and many more yet to be discovered. "Praise be to Him who's mercies endure forever" and thank you Armand, and everyone who has come after, for you're unbending desire, no matter the cost, to become His humble servant and a partaker of His ministry through the 12 Steps of AA that are inarguably grounded in the immutable Word of God.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic.
A Grateful Recovery Alcoholic Your comment on the Fifth Step experience is remarkable in its completeness. The greatest gift for me as you so aptly described "the washing away of the shame and guilt" has allowed me to never again feel less than in the presence of anyone or anything after having been blessed with the presence of God in my life for the first time since I was a little boy...Thanks...Armand
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