Am I Entirely Ready

                 The Sixth Step of Alcoholics Anonymous is "were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."  The original draft used the word "willing" instead of entirely ready.  I found it helpful to incorporate both in my Sixth Step so that I have the willingness to be entirely ready.
                 As an alcoholic it is difficult for me to give up control, as I want to apply some sort of cognitive therapy or behavioral modification in an effort to control my defects.  For me this is like applying a band aid to a festering infection.  Control of our defects is not the issue but rather that these human defects are not to exist in our behavior, as it is our defects that are keeping us from the perfection that God seeks in us which is to be the human being that God created us to be, thereby maximizing our human potential. 
                 When we are in the will of God our human character defects which exist in our nature cannot possibly manifest themselves in our behavior.
                 Yes I am willing to be entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 

A Fifth Step Story

                 Having shared the Fifth Step with myself and another human being, having exhibited a sense of humility, having acquired a clarity of mind and a sense of peace I was emboldened to complete the final piece of the Fifth Step.  That is to admit to God the exact nature of my wrongs.  I met my sponsor at a small chapel and initially I was fine until he swung open the doors to the chapel and I looked down the center isle to the alter.  I became immediately aware of the quiet and the state of holiness about.  I froze for a moment and swallowed hard.  I fully realized that in the next few moments I would experience the most profound event I had ever participated in.  In this time and in this moment I was to seek the forgiveness of God for all I had done wrong in the past.  We slowly knelt down and my sponsor prayed in the way that only he can and when he was done praying I shared the exact nature of my wrongs with God.  I had completed the Fifth Step.
                 Since then I have participated in many Fifth Steps with people that I have read the Big Book with and it is such a humbling experience to be a part of.  It is when I feel the most helpful as a human being and the most complete.  Recently I did a Fifth Step with someone and as we were leaving the Church he said "I know that for centuries people like you have helped people like me do what we did today, but today was the day that I had the opportunity to participate in it."
                Yes it is a special experience to feel the nearness of God and to share that with another.  It is an experience that is not meant to be missed.  A complete cleansing of the past, a sense of forgiveness and a clean slate of life coupled with a new relationship with God.

Humility As A Recovery Tool

                 The basis of all the AA Steps is humility and the spirit of humility is necessary as our egos must be deflated.  Certainly admitting to our innermost self that we are alcoholic, learning to trust in God and making a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God were all steps on the road to humility.  In the Fourth Step, identifying who we are and acceptance of that certainly was ego deflating and humbling.  But for me, the biggest step in accepting humility, although not the last , was the Fifth Step where I share my Fourth Step list, the deepest darkest side of myself with myself, God and another human being.  In the Seventh Step we are offering all of ourselves, the good and the bad, to God to do with us as God would have us do so that our human character defects will not manifest themselves in our behavior.  Another step in humility occurs as we go out and make our amends reconciling the wrongs we have done in the past.  And finally the Eleventh Step, where a recovered alcoholic resides, as we are praying only for the knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out, can only be manifested in a humble spirit.
                  It is humility which unlocks the door to the grace of God and only through a humble spirit may we recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.  Humility is necessary.   

Admit And Accept

                 In the Step Book it says and this is paraphrased, a continuous look back at our liabilities and a real desire to grow by this means are necessities for us.  We alcoholics have learned this the hard way.  More experienced people of course, in all times and places, have practiced unsparing self survey and criticism.  For the wise have always known that no one can make much of one's life until self searching becomes a regular habit, until one is able to ADMIT AND ACCEPT what is found. 
                Through my daily inventory I can now admit and accept that my character defects are a part of my human nature, a part of my nature that cannot manifest itself if I am living in the will of God.  I have come to understand that my human nature is defected and I must accept this about myself.
                In the program of Alcoholics Anonymous it is often said "let go and let God."  The let go is turning from the incessant prompts of our human nature and the let God is living in and thereby manifesting the will of God.  In the will of God, the nature of God, our character defects cannot be manifested in our behavior and it is here that our nature has been perfected as we have become the human being that God created us to be.
               Self survey is a powerful tool of recovery.