The literature of Alcoholics Anonymous says "as alcoholics our egomania digs two disastrous pitfalls, either we insist on dominating people or we depend upon them for to much. If we lean to much on people they will sooner or later fail us, for they are human to and cannot possibly meet our incessant demands. In this way our insecurity festers and grows. When we habitually try to manipulate others to our own willful desires they revolt and resist us heavily. Then we develop hurt feelings, a sense of persecution, a sense to retaliate. As we redouble our efforts at control and continue to fail, our suffering becomes acute and constant. We have not sought to be one in a family, to be a friend among friends, to be a worker among workers, to be a successful member of society. Always we tried to struggle to the top of the heap or to hide underneath it. This self centered behavior blocked a partnership relation with anyone of those about us. Of true brotherhood we had small comprehension."
It is in the letting go of self and trusting in God that allows us to accept others as they are and allows us to relinquish control. The greatest gift I have received from the program of A.A. is to have true and honest relations with those around me. We can learn how to interact with others through our interaction with God in the Eleventh Step. We can learn how to love and how to allow ourselves to be loved We can learn not to interact with other peoples personalities which we can like or dislike, but rather to interact with that part of them that is good, that is God.
It is in the letting go of self and in the trusting in God that allows us to accept others as they are and ourselves as we are. This allows us not only to relinquish control but to have no need or desire to control.
The final paragraph of this post was vital for me to understand in learning to live at peace in this world. I've always felt that the real barometer of my sobriety would be evidenced in my relationship with others. Learning to uncontrol self isn't possible. But through the guidance of a sponsor through the Twelve Steps, I found Trust which has enabled a sense of myself never before felt. And an accompanying sense of love for others.
ReplyDeleteMichael living a life with ease and comfort accompany an alcoholic when there is an absolute trust in God. This ease and comfort is a result of no longer living a life in protection of our human instinct. Once relieved of that, through the grace of God, a new world opens up to us where we have the ability to love others and gratitude for the love received from others...Thank you for this and all your wonderful comments...Armand
ReplyDeleteAt first a flimsy reed! There's much to learn in the program of Recovery from a hopeless state of mind and body that is accurately worded in The Big Book. Trusting to let go took time for me. My appreciation grows, especially through the level of understanding The Ladder presents. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteMichael you are welcome...Armand
ReplyDeleteThe control factor in my life was so strong so real. If I couldn't dominate , then I would turn on the persacuted individual so I could recruit the numbers on my side . Constantly manipulating everyone who crossed my path . Full of selfcentered fear that I wouldn't get what I needed and lose what I had . The classic alcoholic in every sense of the word . What was to become of me? Hence the 12steps of A.A. A practice of life changing principles . Willing to accept through powerlessness that God can and will restore me to sanity. Make the most important decision of my life , to turn my will and life over to Him a God of my understanding. Admit my faults, accept His Grace, clean up the past, stay on track, by daily inventory, prayer , meditation, & then carry the message . There is no longer a need to control.
ReplyDeleteDon you have been healed by the power of God through the integration of the program of Alcoholics anonymous into your life in such a way that it has become your life. Well said Don...Thank You...Armand
ReplyDelete"Always we tried to struggle to the top of the heap or hide underneath it"...I am one of those struggling under the heap. I lean so much on humans that I allow for constant failure and inevitable pain. I've had glimpses of what it's like to live an honest program - of letting go and letting God take care of me. I love what I saw in others, what I felt for others, how an open heart led to an open mind and a more spiritually-led life. These glimpses have given me inspiration - what I now strive for is relationships that are wholesome but not wholly relied upon for what I can only find in God. In having no desire for control or reliance on humans I know I will be free.
ReplyDeleteCaitlin Those times of "letting go and letting God" occurring in your life have given you glimpses of a spiritually led life providing you with inspiration. Inspiration is defined as the thoughts of God implanted in the mind and soul. It is here that a recovered alcoholic lives. Live here always and you will experience a life of serenity as joy is not the absence of sorrow but the presence of God...Thank you for your experience...Armand
ReplyDeleteI feel humbled to be one among many
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