I found that in compiling my Fourth Step resentment list, the best way to cope with resentments were to first pray for and forgive those on my list. In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous in the chapter "How It Works" it states, "...we realize that the people who had wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way they disturbed us they, like ourselves, were sick too. We ask God to help us grant them the same tolerance, pity and patience we would grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, 'Perhaps this is a sick person, how can I be helpful to them? God save me from being angry, Thy will be done.' God will show us how to take a kind and tolerant view of each and everyone." As we draw closer to God this begins to happen naturally.
As an alcoholic we find that resentment is the number one offender to a serene and peaceful life. If we are to have a clear state of consciousness that is free of conflict; if we are to lead an alcohol-free life, a life where resentment is not causing conflict in our mind and therefore not manifested in our behavior, then we must let go of our human resentments. There is often no way possible to do this without the help of God.
To live a life without resentments is to have the ultimate advantage in everyday action and interaction. In the Fourth Step, I learned what it was about me that prevented The Spirit from being fully alive in me. Identifying the cause and the correlation to my alcoholism enabled me to understand the importance of neutralizing this part of my sickness in order to move on towards the freedom of my spirit. Over time, the mental benefit of praying and forgiving stimulates and spiritualizes my behavior in a way that begets better feeling and improved action to an exponential fegree. We get better by getting better. The idea of being free of conflict is a monumentally meaningful notion, as it can empower us to reach the highest potential of our humanity. When spirituality touches humanity, peace of mind and love for others, not just alcoholics, is the prize. In learning to love my neighbor instead of resenting him, I learn to love myself instead of devolving into self-loathing, and drinking.
ReplyDeleteMichael you wrote "the idea of being free of conflict." This is especially important to a peaceful life. Although that conflict can exist in our human nature it has no effect upon our emotional state and thus in our behavior when our nature is surrendered to the will of God. The same is true of resentment...Thank you...Armand
DeleteGod grant us tolerance, pity and patience and the opportunity to be of real service to another suffering person!?! This is so counterintuitive to the defensive shame based reactions something in me clammers about all to often. Embarrassing how eager something in me is to defend its "honor" blindly steamrolling over others feelings. Justified by my wounded egos needs to re-inflate it's sense of dignity in tragicly ineffective ways. Yes, I needs God's help! Yes, I need to be restored to the harmonious win/win generous universe of God's love. The "selfish" views stemming from frightened hurt past impressions distort my perception greatly. I do need the grace of God, and the more I can pray for God's will not mine to be done; I start to see awe inspiring synchronicity, beauty and brilliant options emerge beyond my initial reactions' narrow view. Fight or flight reaction patterning in PTSD survivors can be transcended by prayer. Such prayers are powerful when used in Spirit of God's magnanimity (rather than to push my egos agenda)
ReplyDeleteSpiritual Being Our thought process propelled by the will of God rather than by my human instinct brings about behavior that is God centered...Thank You so much...Armand
DeleteThe loss of safety in living without sense of God's will is profound. After step 3, we get a chance in 4 to further restore safety (by listing fears /resentments) Releasing fear /resentment by grace and God's omnipotent infinite wisdom is really different from the strategies the fearful hurt places in me create.
ReplyDeleteSpiritual being thank you for sharing yourself with us...Armand
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ReplyDeleteArmand,
ReplyDeleteLets contemplate the "The Lords Prayer," specifically, how many times our hearts have stumbled over those words " as we forgive others" and the glorious freedom contained within, not only for my own life but the lives of those still living in the bondage of self. The Author of this prayer has called each of us to the awesome opportunity of intercessory prayer. And so I pray, Dear God today I want to pray for all those You have placed on my heart who are in distress because of sin in their lives. I know from my own life the pain and anguish my sins have caused me and those around me and now out of gratitude and praise for Your forgivness I want to pray for those people whom have harmed me and that I need to learn to love just as You have loved me.
Lord I confess it's difficult to love others as You have loved me and as my mind is flooded by people I have used for my own purposes with little or no thought of what was best for them yet I am eternally comforted that You have forgiven me. Please help me also to forgive them. Lord, open their hearts to Your love. Show me how I can be a partaker of your pursuit of them. Enable me to fully apprehend that to truly love my enemies is to will the ultimate good of another by my every thought act and deed so that I may be able to "comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passes all understanding and be filled with the fullness of God."
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic In my human nature it can be difficult to forgive but in the will of God as received by implementing The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous in such a way that it becomes my life the forgiveness of others comes from the power of God through me. This is my experience...Thank you...Aermand
DeleteArmand,
DeleteThe model of prayer and forgiveness, is for me, contained in the words of the Author who prayed "Father forgive them for they Know not what they do" for the very ones who's hands had driven the spikes through His own. It is in the human experience, unfathomable Love...
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic.
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