After sharing the fifth step with myself and another human being, after exhibiting a sense of humility, after acquiring a clarity of mind and a sense of peace I braced myself for the final piece of the step - to admit to God the exact nature of my wrongs. I met my sponsor outside a small chapel on a day just like any other, I thought ... until he swung open the chapel doors. I looked down the center isle to the alter and became immediately aware of the quietness and state of holiness that existed. I froze and swallowed hard, realizing that the next few moments were going to be as profound as any other in all of my life. In that time, that place, and in that moment I was to seek the forgiveness of God for all I had done wrong in the past. Together, my sponsor and I slowly knelt down and he prayed for us in a way that only he would do. When he was finished I shared the exact nature of my wrongs with God - I had then completed the fifth step.Since then I have participated in many fifth steps with alcoholics and addicts that I have read the Big Book with. It is altogether a very humbling experience to be a part of - making me feel the utmost of helpful as a human being and supplying a sense of wholeness to lives. Once I did a fifth step with someone and as we were leaving the Church he said, "I know that for centuries people like you have helped people like me do exactly what we did today... but today was the day that I had the opportunity to be a part of it."
Yes, it is a remarkable experience to feel the nearness of God and to share that with another. It is an experience that is not meant to be missed. It is a complete cleansing of the past and, in turn, a receiving of the gift of forgiveness and a clean slate - all built upon a new relationship with God.
Written by Armand
Beautiful story, Armand. I loved my Fifth Step experience too. When I began reading my sex inventory to my sponsor, a sudden and fierce rainstorm began outside the windows-- a highly unusual event for Palm Springs, California in August. The storm lasted just as long as my inventory did-- the rain stopped when I stopped talking. Afterward, I felt as refreshed and washed-clean as the surrounding air and earth. There are Promises associated with many of the Steps in the Big Book, and the Fifth Step Promises tell us: "...We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator... now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe." Amen.
ReplyDeleteDan love your Story. Certainly memorable. Happy that you felt the nearness of God. Nurture that and then share it with others...Thank you...Armand
DeleteAfter having taken The Fifth Step, the hour I spent in asking myself the four follow-up questions to determine if I were completely ready to take Step Six was of extreme enlightenment to me. Until I re-examined the quality/purity of my Fifth Step action, I did not have the perspective I needed to move on. In that completed process, I was able to look back at the manner in which I had been living my life. A completely clear picture emerged affirming that my actions and my inner spirit had been in constant conflict. Peace could not have existed. The Fifth Step was a literal self- cleansing in my effort to find the me I was born to be - through The Power Within me. Of course this Step meant action....and more action.
ReplyDeleteMichael thanks for writing of the inner conflict that was a part of all our waking moments. A conscious contact with God removes the conflict. A clarity of thought that is so beautiful...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteBless you again for sharing your personal experience of that miraculous event that I was so blessed to have witnessed. Especially, the all too real feelings of impending doom that precede this most holy conversation with the Person of the Creator and Sustainer of all that is or will ever be. Jesus Christ. But the floor beneath doesn't drop away, nor do we plunge head first into some fiery pit of previously imagined eternal damnation. Remarkably, we are met instead by a tidal wave of limitless mercy, grace, acceptance and love. We discover that the very God of eternity, the One whom we had cursed, rejected and at times despised has been all the while; patiently, watchfully and yes joyfully waiting in that very place to reunite with His errant child.
ReplyDeleteBefore we utter a word we discover He envelops the humble attitude of our hearts with a Love and Compassion beyond telling. But, like the "Prodigal" written of in Luke 15:11-32 we continue our "confession" anyway, even as waves of forgiveness wash away every remaining vestige of gilt and shame associated with our past. And as we received Him in our hearts we discover He has already received us in His, as our only Savior, Lord and perpetually Loving Father.. In that eternal instant we become, literally... A new creation.
But the encounter isn't finished... It's only just begun, for He imparts to us not only Peace in His presence but an unquenchable desire to encounter Him more completely, and to exercise the power contained in the newly discovered gifts He has bestowed as fully embraced and lovingly cherished members of His eternal family. We discover that the insurmountable wall of mystery that once concealed the "Simple" in the "Program of AA" has been removed, completely swept away by the unseen Hand of the God who created us to experience this very moment and many more yet to be discovered. "Praise be to Him who's mercies endure forever" and thank you Armand, and everyone who has come after, for you're unbending desire, no matter the cost, to become His humble servant and a partaker of His ministry through the 12 Steps of AA that are inarguably grounded in the immutable Word of God and His Holy Spirit that provides the only breath of eternal life.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
DeleteHappy to have been there wit you my friend. Meant to be...Thank you..Armand