The literature of Alcoholics Anonymous says as alcoholics, " Our egomania digs two disastrous pitfalls. Either we insist upon dominating the people we know, or we depend upon them far too much. If we lean too heavily on people, they will sooner or later fail us, for they are human, too, and cannot possibly meet our incessant demands. In this way our insecurity grows and festers. When we habitually try to manipulate others to our own willful desires, they revolt, and resist us heavily. Then we develop hurt feelings, a sense of persecution, and a desire to retaliate. As we redouble our efforts at control, and continue to fail, our suffering becomes acute and constant. We have not once sought to be one in a family, to be a friend among friends, to be a worker among workers, to be a useful member of society. Always we tried to struggle to the top of the heap, or to hide underneath it. This self-centered behavior blocked a partnership relation with any one of those about us. Of true brotherhood we had small comprehension."
It is in the letting go of self and trusting in God that allows us to accept others as they are and to relinquish control. One of the greatest gifts from the program of A.A. is to have true and honest relationships with those around us. We can learn how to interact with others through our interaction with God in the Eleventh Step. We can learn how to love and how to allow ourselves to be loved We can learn how not to interact with other personalities, which we can like or dislike, but rather to interact with the part of them that is good - the part of them that is God.
It is in the letting go of self and the trusting in God that allows us to accept others as they are (and ourselves as we are). This allows us not only to relinquish control but to have no need or desire to control at all.
Written by Armand
In The Step Book, The Third Step addresses our intelligence and our willpower, clearly stating that the combination will never give us control of our "inner lives, or "much success in this world." This kind of self-suffiency is the "bonecrushing juggernaut whose final achievement is ruin." It is only by activating all Twelve Steps into our daily lives that we can find permanent sobriety and a contented, useful life. As you clearly point out, only The Power Within us can show us the folly of self-generated control and the peace of a life lived in accordance with His Will for us. My thinking and my willpower helped me in the material world. But are totally useless in the world of the spirit.
ReplyDeleteMichael as you say "by incorporating all of the 12 Steps" we can come to a place where our human selfcentered fear has no power over our emotional state or our behavior. There we are in the will of God with complete and utter faith. While at peace there is no need to alter our state therefore no need or impulse to control. Thanks...Armand
ReplyDeleteThis Comment Is From A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
ReplyDeleteArmand,
Anything less than the "complete surrender" of our ego, that is, our personhood and spirit to the Person of God in the 4th and 5th step continues the delusion that we still somehow possess the leverage to negotiate the "terms and conditions of our surrender" allowing us to carry on with our lives as though alcohol or any other substance abuse issue was our only problem and that were it not for "daemon rum" life would and could be just dandy.
As long as this recovering alcoholic entertains any thought or imaginings that God desires me to climb back into the drivers seat and continue to direct life's tour would easily come under the definition of insanity and the continued mental meanderings of a megalomaniac. It reminds me of the bumper stickers I've seen that say "God is my Co-Pilot". At one time I agreed. Today I want to run up to the driver and fervently encourage them to pry their fingers off the "wheel" and quickly swap seats. Although that type of thinking provides a form of spiritual walk it provides none of the Power. Thankfully, God loves us far too much to encourage His spiritually immature children to walk alone, blindly and boldly into the rush hour traffic of the limited access highway of life.
Just for today I can face the three most troublesome struggles of life. First, by thanking the Lord for helping me overcome the struggle with my human nature. When I admit the impossibility of changing myself with resolutions and self-improvement disciplines, You take control and perform the continuing miracle of making me like Yourself. Second, You free me from the struggle of being humanly adequate. I know I am insufficient for the demands of life, but I also know of Your all-sufficient adequacy. I can't imagine any problem You cannot help me to solve, any person You can't love through me and any challenge You can't give me strength to tackle. Third, I don't have to struggle with worries over what the future holds. I can relax. Whatever I face today will be an opportunity for new dimensions of Your character to be formed in me."
Simply put, Serenity, is a gift of God to all who "humble themselves and seek His face and turn from their wicked ways", For then His eyes shall be open and His ears attentive to our prayers. And thus, He says, "I shall grant you a time of refreshment". That, my brother, is serenity.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic not only must the surrender of our human nature be complete it must also be absolute. Absolute is defined as perfect in quality or nature, pure. That can only occur in the will of God through His bountiful grace...Thank you...Armand
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