In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous in the chapter "How It Works" it says, "We are in the world to play the role God assigns." We, who have learned through our experience, know this can be accomplished through the practice of the Twelve Steps. Specifically it is in the Tenth Step, through daily examination, through which we uncover our character defects and their continuous manifestation in our behavior. Despite this action and reaction to life not being how and what we want it is still powerfully prevalent. It is here, in the conflict of not wanting to manifest our character defects in our behavior but POWERLESS over such occurrences that we are thrown back into Step One. There, in the midst of Step One we can see so very clearly how we are not only powerless over our use of alcohol and drugs but powerless over every single aspect of our lives. We had previously learned at a cognitive level that our lives must be given to the care and direction of God - but now, through our personal experiences, we can perceive this with more clarity and at a much deeper and consequential level.
It is in the taking of the daily inventory that we begin to fully understand the power and pervasiveness of our character defects encoded into our human nature. To overcome the manifestation of our character defects in our behavior we must subrogate our human nature and utterly abandon ourselves to the will of God. For it is in the infinite power and love of Him that we are healed.
Written by Armand
What magnificent irony! The process of opening the Twelve Steps like twelve individually wrapped gifts rendered me vulnerable and raw, and at the same time, hopeful, even certain, that my yearning to be me was possible. But, as you point out, we must go deeper. The Tenth Step directs us to our next function - "to grow in knowledge and effectiveness," thereby growing closer to our image-like notion of a higher version of ourselves, a spiritual version, a way-we-were-born-and-meant-to-be version. In effect, the way we were becomes the way we are. That is the sacred gift of recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous. The symptom introduced me to the problem. The problem introduced me to the solution - The Power Within me who is everything and everything I trust. To understand the presence of The Infinite Power is to clearly understand my powerlessness. I am no longer defenseless. I am no longer alone.
ReplyDeleteMichael The surrender that must occur if one is to recover is in the experience of attempting to surrender to the perceived will of God and being absolutely incapable of doing so. Here we learn that our surrender to the will of God is a gift of grace once we are willing to no longer attempt to bring it about...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteMy childhood up until 5th grade was filled with laughter, friendship, nature, swimming, sailing, art, ballet, and inspired avid learning in context of harmony, beauty, safety, nice family and abundant love. I had zero impulses to control, and was open to Life, God, and People. Is this total sense of safety ever possible to me again I wonder? After my parents "virtual war zone" divorce, harsh judgemental inputs and multigenerational alcoholism in all its devastating forms unfolding including my own active addiction - CONTROL seems to be my new default setting.
ReplyDeleteIt appears now there are complex defenses against my authentic true self. The authentic self I believe is good. Maybe injuries at some point created fear of vulnerabilities. Feels safer to avoid them. But it's not working.
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DeleteSpiritual Being Your negative feelings and character defects will always remain within you at some level but a complete and absolute surrender to the will of God will not allow those feelings to have control of your emotional state or your brhavior...Thank you...Armand
DeleteThanks to your input I've been praying more often "Thy will be done" and feel less fear when doing it often.
ReplyDeleteSpiritual Being thank you so much for saying that. Just your remark alone validates the existence of A Ladder To Above...Armand
DeleteIn terms of powerlessness, I think what you are saying is that the turning over of one's will and life in step 3 is similar to Paul's conversion on the road to Damascus. He encountered the light of Christ on the road. The light found him. The light coming to him on the road was not a matter of Paul's will power or thought. He was blinded by the light. And, when he was healed of his temporary blindness, the scales (his pride?), fell from his eyes (Acts9:1-18). The result was to open the door to him to a future of service to God. He was "transformed" by God, through no doing of his own. Paul was "powerless" so to speak in the transformation process. God, not Paul, was doing it. Whether Paul prayed before hand, even that morning - "God's will be done" I give myself utterly to you, I HAVE NO IDEA. Maybe he did. But how his transformation to living in the will of God unfolded - was God orchestrated.
ReplyDeleteSpiritual Being well said. Perfect...Thank you...Armand
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