The day I stood in the parking lot drunk such a long time ago a most fortunate event occurred. I bumped into the only person I knew who was in AA. Such kindness he showed me - by speaking with me and taking me to my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting that very night. It was there at that meeting that I raised my hand and said "my name is Armand and I am an alcoholic." Some seven years passed from that first night until I admitted complete defeat. Those seven intervening years proved difficult ones in my life as a direct result of alcohol. Fortunately, I did survive a bottom those seven years produced from which I could push up from. Since admitting complete defeat I have been blessed with a passion for the program of Alcoholics Anonymous which has given me a life, - a REAL life. I know that in order to keep that life I must give it away. In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says, "the entire load must be given away." It also states, "Our very lives as ex problem drinkers depends upon our constant thought of others." In the rooms, when I see a newcomer or someone there for their first time to my home group I will walk up to them, shake their hand and introduce myself. When anyone in AA asks for help of any kind, and certainly when I am asked by someone to take them through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous by reading the Big Book together, I say "Yes" - as perhaps that is the day they receive their KERNEL of faith, as I once did when I was blessed by another's kindness. Through just a KERNEL of faith, maybe, just maybe, they will be on their way to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.
Written by Armand
The kernel is a powerful sense that exists within me at the deepest level. It is small at first, even latent. It is a seed, a bud, an acorn, a ray. But by integrating all Twelve Steps into my life, the kernel becomes that fundamental idea of good, of God, of me. It may be undefinable but it is also unmistakable. To grow, the kernel must be nurtured by The Steps as they are woven into a way of daily life. And, as you point out, that life must be given away in order for that fundamental idea to become the essence of my awakened spirit. In the spirit, there is no time or space or measurement. We simply continue to grow in understanding and effectiveness.
ReplyDeleteMichael a new life has been given to us from a seed of faith and trust...Thank you....Armand
DeleteWhen one alcoholic shares with another alcoholic there is hope, understanding and strength. When the student is ready the teacher appears. God sends me teachers to guide me on my path, through others message I can pass on my experience, strength and hope. It is my darkness that can be brought into light my sharing my experience, strength and hope.
ReplyDeleteIt is the St. Francis prayer in action, that I be made an instrument of thy peace, where their is despair hope, darkness, light and sadness joy, in giving we receive.
The path is one where we trudge shoulder to shoulder with another, it is deepening my relationship with god and asking him to show me how I may be of maximum service to him and my fellows.
Jessica a life lived in faith is a life worth living...Thank you...Armand
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