After sharing the fifth step with myself and another human being, after exhibiting a sense of humility, after acquiring a clarity of mind and a sense of peace I braced myself for the final piece of the step - to admit to God the exact nature of my wrongs. I met my sponsor outside a small chapel on a day just like any other, I thought ... until he swung open the chapel doors. I looked down the center isle to the alter and became immediately aware of the quietness and state of holiness that existed. I froze and swallowed hard, realizing that the next few moments were going to be as profound as any other in all of my life. In that time, that place, and in that moment I was to seek the forgiveness of God for all I had done wrong in the past. Together, my sponsor and I slowly knelt down and he prayed for us in a way that only he would do. When he was finished I shared the exact nature of my wrongs with God - I had then completed the fifth step.
Since then I have participated in many fifth steps with alcoholics and addicts that I have read the Big Book with. It is altogether a very humbling experience to be a part of - making me feel the utmost of helpful as a human being and supplying a sense of wholeness to lives. Once I did a fifth step with someone and as we were leaving the Church he said, "I know that for centuries people like you have helped people like me do exactly what we did today... but today was the day that I had the opportunity to be a part of it."
Yes, it is a remarkable experience to feel the nearness of God and to share that with another. It is an experience that is not meant to be missed. It is a complete cleansing of the past and, in turn, a receiving of the gift of forgiveness and a clean slate - all built upon a new relationship with God.
Written by Armand
Armand I love that story of the chapel. I first heard it several years ago from Michael. Curious to know where the chapel is?
ReplyDeleteDan two separate Chapels. My 5th Step was in a small chapel in Malvern. Michaels was with me at Villanova University...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteMichael C.
ReplyDeleteNot only is it humbling to experience The Fifth Step in its fullness, it is gratifying and true-self-revealing. In this vital Step, my entire life, even my alcoholism, comes together in a composite rendering of WHAT I was doing and HOW I was leading my life. That representation did not reveal WHO I was/am. It is in The Fifth Step that I am able to disassociate the actor from the person, to recognize my double life, and to begin the pursuit of becoming the person I was born to be. This is a Step I must complete before going on to Step Six where I have the opportunity to design my life in the awareness and presence of The Power Within me. Today, the story of my life continues to unfold and grow as the direct result of integrating all Twelve Steps into my life “in such a way” that they have become the life I was born to live and love.
Michael a great Life a real life is available for each and everyone of us who surrenders our will in the moment...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteBless you again Armand for sharing your personal experience of that miraculous day that I was so blessed to have witnessed. This, 1 John 1:8-9, is the basis for what I prayed for us that day Dear brother: , "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness”.. The all too real feelings of impending doom that precede this most holy conversation with the Person of God shows we are truly ready to take this step. But we were speaking to Jesus Christ, the lover of our souls. The floor beneath doesn't drop away, nor do we plunge head first into some fiery pit of previously imagined eternal rejection. We are met instead by a tidal wave of limitless mercy, grace, acceptance and love. We discover that the very God of eternity, the One whom we had cursed, rejected and at times despised has been all the while; patiently, watchfully and yes joyfully waiting in that very place and time to reunite with His errant child.
ReplyDeleteBefore we utter a word we discover He envelops the humble attitude of our hearts with a Love and Compassion beyond telling. But, like the "Prodigal" written of in Luke 15:11-32 we continue our "confession" anyway, even as waves of forgiveness wash away every remaining vestige of gilt and shame associated with our past. And as we received Him in our hearts we discover He has already received us in His, as our only Savior, Lord and perpetually Loving Father.. In that eternal instant we become, literally... A new creation.
I prayerfully reinforced that the encounter isn't finished... It's only just begun as He imparts not only Peace in His presence but an unquenchable desire to encounter Him more completely, and to exercise the power contained in the newly discovered gifts He has bestowed as fully embraced and lovingly cherished members of His eternal family. The seemingly insurmountable wall of mystery that once concealed the "Simple" in the "Program of AA" has been removed, completely swept away by the unseen Hand of the God who created us to experience this very moment and many more yet to be discovered. "Praise be to Him who's mercies endure forever" and thank you Armand, for you're unbending desire, no matter the cost, to become His humble servant and a partaker of His ministry of Good News through the 12 Steps of AA, that are inarguably grounded in the immutable Word of God and His Holy Spirit through the Gospel that provides the only breath of peace, assurance and eternal life.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic one cannot be recovered in the way that is necessary to overcome a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body without the Grace of God...Thank you...Armand
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