Thereafter having admitted that I was alcoholic I soon found out that alcohol in and of itself was not my problem, but was the manifestation of my problem. The true problem was self-centered fear - afraid that I was not going to get what I want and afraid that I was going to lose what I had.In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it says, "When dealing with the fear problem, or any other problem, perhaps there is a better way as we are now on a different basis, the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than finite self. We are in the world to play the role God assigns. Just to the extent we do as we think God would have us do and humbly rely on God, does God enable us to match calamity with serenity. We never apologize to anyone for depending on our creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality is the way of weakness. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All possessors of faith have courage. They trust their God. We let God demonstrate through us what God can do. We ask God to remove our fear and direct our attention to what we should be doing. At once, we commence to outgrow fear."
The integration of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous into our lives leads to a personal relationship with God. Prior to that occurring, fear haunted all of our being, was in all of our moments, driving all of our decisions in an attempt to satiate our instincts. We were afraid that we were not going to get what we wanted and afraid that we were going to lose what we had. Today, in this moment, that can change. That will change for all of us if we are in alignment with God's will for us. We will then know a peace we have never before experienced.
Written by Armand
My fear was both unknown and unwarranted, I didn't know where it came from or why it existed. Yet it ruled my unruly life. I was alone - everywhere. At home, in church or school, on holidays, birthdays, vacations. I was in such fear that I could center on no one or anything other than myself. When alcohol finally came, it came as a relief. It loosened the chains that had enslaved me in fear. I felt strangely free and drunkenly fearless. Alcohol released me from me. In the program of recovery, I learned that I had to be made whole in order to cease living in fear. It was only by integrating all Twelve Steps into my life in such a way that they would become my life that I could learn to live without fear. Especially in times of particular challenge, I can now see the folly of fear and experience the fulfillment of certainty through the presence of The Power Within me. In the final analysis, fear ls only pervasive in alone me. I must live as the whole person I was born to be - me and The Power Within me.
ReplyDeleteMichael loved when focusing on fear, love when you wrote "it ruled my unruly life.' How true!...Thank you...Armand
DeleteArmand,
ReplyDeleteWithout God, life is a headlong stumble through a "house of mirrors" eventually becoming the distorted image reflected in every wavy glass. The very instant I surrendered to God I passed, not into a new world, but an entirely new dimension. I was immersed in a sure knowledge that the God I once rejected was in complete control of a world that once baffled me. And, all would be well..
Prayerfully, In His presence, is an instantaneous awareness that the old familiar false flag adventure of two dimensional living must be forever abandoned. Serenity now continually grows through willingness to accept, by His grace, His divinely inspired seeds of faith that continuously casts out fear as my imperfect apprehension of that faith is refined in practice, throughout the day, in the fire of His perfect guidance and eternal love.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic love it "without God, life is a headlong stumble through a house of mirrors." So true...Thank you...Armand
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