Powerlessness Understood Step 10

Once much has been accomplished and an ample portion of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous completed, the personal relationship with and the dependence upon God take on much deeper and all-encompassing meanings.
               In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous in the chapter "How It Works" it says, "We are in the world to play the role God assigns."  We, who have learned through our experience,  know this can be accomplished through the practice of the Twelve Steps.  Specifically it is in the Tenth Step, through daily examination,  we uncover our character defects and their continuous manifestation in our behavior. Despite this action and reaction to life not being how and what we want it is still powerfully prevalent.  It is here, in the conflict of not wanting to manifest our character defects in our behavior but POWERLESS over such occurrences that we are thrown back into Step One. There, in the midst of Step One we can see so very clearly how we are not only powerless over our use of alcohol and drugs but powerless over every single aspect of our lives.  We had previously learned at a cognitive level that our lives must be given to the care and direction of God - but now, through our personal experiences, we can perceive this with more clarity and at a much deeper and consequential level.
               It is in the taking of the daily inventory that we begin to fully understand the power and pervasiveness of our character defects encoded into our human nature.  To overcome the manifestation of our character defects in our behavior we must subrogate our human nature and utterly abandon ourselves to the will of God. For it is in the infinite power and love of Him that we are healed.

Written by Armand

The Eighth Step - Another Chance To Pray For And Forgive

 As I began the fourth step of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous I faced the four column inventory of my resentments, fears and sexual conduct.  My sponsor suggested that I begin to    pray for and forgive all of those on all of my lists.  In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous there is a prayer for each of these lists - three prayers in total.
      The Eighth Step of Alcoholics Anonymous, "Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all," is yet another chance to pray for and forgive all those on all of my lists and to begin doing the same with any new situations that may arise.  We are already in possession of an Eighth Step list - extracted from our Fourth Step inventory.  As we begin to pray for and forgive we are also making a beginning on Steps Eleven and Twelve.

       Prayer and forgiveness are essential tools if we are to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body  We learned in the Fourth Step that resentments toward others is the number one offender to a relationship with God, as we are called to love all, although we are never to be accepting of evil.

       The Eighth Step provides for us ANOTHER CHANCE TO PRAY FOR AND TO FORGIVE all those on our lists. This is necessary in order to bring the Spirit into our Ninth Step amends.     

Written by Armand

Giving

At first, I had no idea that to possess the qualities that many of the members of Alcoholics Anonymous had took a degree of humility - a characteristic I had not a scrap of. I was extremely prideful, but I began longing for this trait of humility as I made my way through the program.
          In the book Alcoholics Anonymous Comes Of Age, in the historic visit to Bill W. from his boarding school pal Ebby T. (a man nearly committed for alcoholic insanity), Ebby outlined the precepts of the Oxford Group. One of the precepts applies to this notion of humility. Practicing the giving of oneself to another is a true act of humility. Ebby told Bill W. to practice giving, as in, the giving of himself to somebody.
          Personally I have learned that it is true humility which unlocks the door to the grace of God.  In order to grow in humility I must begin to let go of my selfish desires and begin to have a faith in God. This eventually blossoms into a complete trust in God. Trust in God was difficult initially, as through the entire course of my life I had used my instincts and my intellect to propel me through. But, when I was faced with a self-imposed crisis that I could not overcome with my human power, I had to rely on a higher power.
          As the Big Book states, "We trust in infinite God rather than finite self." Today, in this day and in this time, I trust in God. The development of this trust in God leads to a caring of others that was impossible for me before.  An alcoholic who is humble enough to trust in God knows that the GIVING of self to the helping of others is a crucial tool of recovery.

Written by Armand

The Main Problem

The "Big Book" of Alcoholics Anonymous says, "But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink. We know that while the alcoholic keeps away from drink... he reacts much like other men. We are equally positive that once he takes any alcohol whatever into his system, something happens, both in the bodily and mental sense, which makes it virtually impossible for him to stop.  The experience of any alcoholic will abundantly confirm this.  These observations would be academic and pointless if the alcoholic never took the first drink thereby setting the terrible cycle in motion.  Therefore, the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather then in his body." 

        If the problem centers in our minds and we use our reasoning power in an attempt to solve our problem, than we are trying to solve our problem with our problem.  This will never work, as many of our own experiences prove.  We continued to drink alcoholically even though we knew we shouldn't and  certainly did not want to.  Lack of power - that is our dilemma. We must find a new source of power to propel our thoughts.  Our thought process can no longer be propelled by our human instincts but rather by the will of God through inspiration.

       Once we find that source of power - that is God.  We have subrogated our thought process to  His will and we are now at peace.  Our prayer, at this and each moment, is that anyone who suffers from addiction, whether actively or not, may find God as the very chief source of their power.

Written by Armand

Experience The Third Step Prayer

Having admitted complete defeat; having admitted to our innermost self that we were alcoholic; having come to the understanding that human power could not overcome our alcoholism; having begun to trust in God as a solution to our problem -- we were now at Step Three. Step Three occurred when we decided, when we made a final choice, to turn our will (which is our thoughts) and our life (which is our behavior) over to the care of God.  Going forward  we make a final choice that our thought process will no longer be propelled by our human instinct but rather by the will of God. 

          We get down on our knees and bow our heads praying, "God I offer myself to thee - To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!"

          This is an important and critical step for the beginning of the transformation of our thought process, which is essential and must occur, if we are to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.  However, this is only the beginning.  Now that we have taken a Third Step we must complete the remaining steps so that the transformation of our thought process is complete.  Once completed, we can receive the full benefits of the Third Step Prayer. We can trust in God for not only a solution to our addiction but as a solution to all of our problems.

Written by Armand

Can't Solve The Problem With The Problem

    Our lives were lived to constantly fuel and satisfy our desires. We protected our instincts that were warped by fear and self-absorption. We lived our lives in defiance wrapped around our own self-centeredness - with extreme sensitivity and grandiosity.  Our nature could never initiate or sustain true, honest relations with other human beings. We were forever searching outside of ourselves, completely unaware that the solution to our problem lay within. These lives we lived, fueled by fear and insatiable desires to appease our human instincts, became so anxiety-filled that we increasingly sought escape as a way to experience ease and comfort within.  We were a contradiction unto ourselves.

         As for myself, the escape was the increasing use of alcohol that led to addiction. I sought control over my addiction yet to no avail.  This inability to control created a series of very negative consequences in my life. I was driven by a self-will that knew no boundaries. I constantly attempted to fix the problem with my own internal drive.  I was trying to solve my problem with my problem.  We cannot ever solve the problem with the problem.

         I was unaware of the uniqueness of the disease in that it is a two-fold one. We have a physical  allergy, which ensures that each and every time we put the substance(s) into our system we will get sick, drunk/high, and into all kinds of trouble. But, more importantly, we have a mental obsession which ensures that even though we don't want to drink or use or behave in such a way our disease wants us to. Sooner or later our minds will tell us it's ok. We will satiate our desires, we will trigger the physical allergy and we will ultimately succumb to the hand of addiction. Time after time, using our minds to create a way to control our disease and always failing to do so is proof to us that we can't solve the problem with the problem.

      The solution to our problem with alcohol, with drugs, and with every problem borne from our defective, ill nature is a relationship with God. Through a vital spiritual experience which we temper and enlighten with prayer and meditation we foster such a relationship.  The experience occurs in our lives when the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous are integrated into it. We practice the steps in such a way that they become our lives so that the problem will be solved.

Written by Armand

Self Will Or God's Will

The importance of Step Three is that a decision is made (in fact it is a final choice) for our thought process to no longer be propelled by our human instincts (our self will) but rather by the will of God through inspiration.  Inspiration is defined as, "the thoughts of God implanted in the mind and soul of man."
            The Third Step is, "We mad  e a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."  In the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous in the chapter "How It Works" it states, "The first requirement (in taking the Third Step) is that we be convinced that any life run on self will can hardly be a success." As stated prior to this, "Remember that we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, powerful.  Without help it is to much for us.  But there is One who has all power -that One is God. May you find Him now!"  The chapter goes further in stating, "Selfishness - self-centerednes! That, we think, is the root of our troubles... So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of  self will run riot..."  Self will is our thought process propelled by our human instincts. In the Big Book it says "above everything we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness and there seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid."

                 I learned in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that we have three basic instincts, a social, sexual and security instinct.  These instincts are God given and necessary for life but in us we can never get enough of what it is we think we need .  The great psychiatrist Sigmund Freud defines an instinct as "a bodily need manifested in our thought process."  It is there that our character defects exist - but these same defects, which will always exist to some extent in our human nature, cannot possibly be manifested in our behavior when our thought process is propelled by God's will, through inspiration.

Written By Armand

A Unique Disease

  Alcoholism is a unique disease in that it is a two-fold malady. There is the physical allergy that ensures each and every time we put alcohol into our system we'll get sick, drunk, and into all kinds of trouble.  But more paramount - we have a mental obsession that ensures, even though we don't want to drink, sooner or later our mind will tell us it's okay to pick up the intoxicating substance, triggering the physical allergy. We will surely get drunk again.

        Dr. Silkworth, the chief medical benefactor of AA suggests that the thought process of the mind has to be transformed.  The thought process of the mind of an alcoholic must have a psychic change. This change is essential and must be complete.  As Dr. Silkworth stated, "... once a psychic change has occurred the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems they despaired of ever solving them, is easily able to control their desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules."

       The transformation of thought that is necessary to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of both mind and body occurs through the grace of God. This Grace can and will be received through the practice of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

        Having admitted complete defeat; having admitted to our innermost selves that we are alcoholic; understanding that our human power could not overcome our alcoholism; having begun to trust in God as a solution to our problems we arrive at Step Three, "... decided to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God." Our will is our thoughts and our lives are our behaviors as we think before we act.  We turn over our thoughts and in doing so, behavior follows suit.

         We pray, "God, I offer myself to Thee, to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do thy will. Take away my difficulties so that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy power, Thy love and Thy way of life.  May I do Thy will always."

        This unique disease cannot be remedied using that which causes it - self-centeredness and fear. Turning our broken, scarred selves over to a much Higher and Mightier power is the simple solution to this bewildering and unique disease.

Written by Armand