I had admitted I was alcoholic. I believed in God. I drank twice while a member of Alcoholics Anonymous - once for thirteen months and once for ninety days. Only after the second relapse did I fully realize that I had to make a choice. As the "Big Book" of Alcoholics Anonymous says, "When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is or He isn't. WHAT WAS OUR CHOICE TO BE?"
Early on I chose - God is everything. When I made that choice I had no idea of the power of the human instinct, how pervasive it is and how difficult it would be to turn from my nature and to live in the will of God. The second relapse brought me to a state of reasonableness in which I clearly saw that the surrender had to be absolute. In Bill's Story in the "Big Book" it says "Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. It meant destruction of self-centeredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all." What will you chose - He is and He is everything or the nothingness which envelops one in the darkness?
Written by Armand
It was a rhetorical question for me even after years of sobriety and thousands of meetings. I never questioned the question but I couldn't fully commit to the answer. Reason: I lacked a "personal" relationship with A Power Greater than myself. It took a new understanding of The Third Step to locate The Personal Power already existent within me, and to make a final choice to turn my thinking and my behavior over to That Power through the incorporation of The Twelve Steps into my daily life. As a result of that decision and all its immediate benefits, I found what I'd been looking for and even drinking for. I found me by finding The Power Within me. I am no longer powerless because I have a Power I can depend on, rely on, and trust. In truth, I have been relieved of the bondage of choice. From that freedom flows the milk and honey of a new life. And the ultimate gift of being able to give it away.
ReplyDeleteMichael it is one thing to say "God either is or He isn't, either He is everything or He is nothing" propelled by the intellect but there is a surrender of our nature to the will of God that must be complete and absolute. That choice comes from a trust in God that can only be delivered to us through the Grace of God...Thanks...Armand
Delete"...the kingdom of God is within you."
ReplyDeleteSpiritual Being yes and The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous awakens that within us...Thanks...Armand
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