The chapter on the fourth step in Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions describes our dysfunctional relations well: "But it is from our twisted relations with family, friends, and society at large that many of us have suffered the most. We have been especially stupid and stubborn about them. The primary fact that we failed to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being."
I went through my entire life unable to interact with others on an intimate level. I was incapable of allowing others to experience me as I truly was and I was unwilling to allow others to share with me their own true self. I would present to the world what I thought the world needed to see about me so I could feel good and safe about myself. In the past, the relationships I did have were of the type which, when I was done taking that which I wanted from them and them from me, the relationship was over. I was incapable of FORMING AND SUSTAINING RELATIONSHIPS in an honest and caring way with other human beings.
The greatest gift I have received from developing a personal relationship with God is the ability to interact with other human beings at an honest and true level - therefore forming and sustaining relationships that are caring and loving, loyal and trust-giving. My landing on such soil from which these relations sprout was done simply, but not easily, by going through the twelve steps of the program of AA. This can occur for any who return to the being God created and meant for them to be. When this does occur, human potential is maximized and becoming a recovered, unbroken being is completely possible.
For me, there is no more direct or clarifying way to express it than you have in this post. My relationship with myself was dark, empty, draining and deadly. Alcohol provided the imperfect antidote to the lethal ailment of me. The highest form of me - my spirit - had succumbed to the lowest form of help possible for any human being - spirits, distilled ones. It was only by incorporating The Steps into my life in such a way that they became my life that I was able to understand what a relationship was and is. The Power Within me provided that model, guidance and companionship. Today I am capable of having good relationships with all with whom I come in contact as long as I continue to live in conscious contact through the salvific action of all Twelve Steps. To be able to form and sustain relationships is to be able to live as I was meant to live.
ReplyDeleteMichael to sustain relationships with others takes humility patience and love. A manifestation of the solution to our Alcoholism . A vital spiritual relationship...Thank you...Armand
ReplyDeleteThe single biggest fruit of the AA program is the ability for me to enter into and development of my personal relationships with people, and most important my Lord and Savior. I could never quite grasp how to be completely present with others. I spent most of my energy reacting to my experiences of the past or trying to craft my clever response when I could next get a word in that would satisfy my ego. I often failed to communicate on an intiminate level because the focus was on myself. AA helped me first understand myself so I could recognize when my human nature was kicking in. It also gave me the patience to hear people and what they are saying, what they are NOT saying, and what they may not be able to say. That is the gift of the Holy Spirit, and I only received that gift once I can control my ego and human nature.
ReplyDeleteJim as one comes closer to the Lord, humbled by His presence, intimate relationships with others is the manifestation of that...Thank you...Armand
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ReplyDeleteFrom my earliest youth I was taught the Way, the Truth and the Light... but I chose a path littered with bleached and brittle bones. Everyone and everything I encountered was another opportunity to satisfy the ever growing insatiable appetites of a wounded scavenger whose only true skill was deception. Lying was my life. My life was my prison. Drinking my futile attempt to escape from the carnage left in my wake and to justify creating another.
But, somebody was praying for me. Perhaps it was a family member, perhaps it was a neighbor. Perhaps it was one of the many people I had harmed in my self-centered black hole of a life. But somebody was inspired by God to place me on their prayer list and having been miraculously delivered from a self imposed prison of misdirected survival skills that fund me at the precipice of an ignominious death, I was delivered. In the rooms of AA I have surrendered my life. I have passed my pen to the Master Planner and moved from prisoner to pilgrim.
It has not always been without struggle. Life is not a consistent encounter with rainbows and unicorns. I still must contend with the ever-present seductions of the world and though now graciously subdued, the ever present calling of the appetites of my flesh. But throughout every encounter His grace abounds. This new life is no longer dependent totally upon me. The internal struggle is no longer encountered alone and the mystery for managing the transition has now been laid before me with a simple clarity that only comes through an ever expanding relationship with the only True Source of Power, Light and Love.
That divine gift of willingness, that "Grain of a mustard seed of faith," spoken of in Matthew 19-20; is no longer light years away. My willingness now grows by every encounter with life's former problems and perplexities into a deep and abiding faith. I can now experience Gods people as true brothers and sisters and desired gifts from above, as every encounter reveals the only true touchstones of faith, love and compassion growing an unyielding devotion to the Author and Finisher of this new journey and the unspeakable richness of the mind and plan of God.
In Steps 4 and 5 The Author provided the Holy Spirit who now resides within me. He reminds me of the simple steps that first brought me to this place. He teaches that truth without love is pride and that love without truth is mere sentimentality. That the purpose of life and all of His creation is an eternal relationship by, with and through Him... When all around seems vexed and troubled. When confusion and conflict abound. He compels the surrender of every encounter within life's lesson plan and gently reminds it has been lovingly written into eternity, just for me, that I may continue to discover Him as He truly is.
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic
A Gratefully Recovering Alcoholic our human nature and our human character defects are always present. It is why we pray and meditate daily. It is why we review are behavior. It is why we make amend to those harmed. It is we we live the life given to us by God through the practice of the Twelve Steps Of Alcoholics Anonymous...Thank you...Armand
DeleteMy mind was powered by an amalgam of unfortunate things, including fear, pride, and an aching lack of self-esteem. All of these when combined rendered me bordering on self-loathing. The addition of alcohol into my psyche finished the job. Yet, even at my lowest, there was some form of moral psychology within me at my deepest level. From that tiny mustard seed has grown a strong sense of the presence of The Power Within me. That was simply not possible without the sponsor-driven incorporation of The Twelve Steps into my life in such a way that my life changed - as my psyche changed. I now know the presence of peace in a way far more meaningful than its absence. As a result, I no longer need alcohol to buoy my deadened spirit. As is available to all of us, my spirit has been awakened but will continue to be only by giving myself away.
ReplyDeleteMy minds was powered by amalgam of unfortunate things, including fear, pride, and an aching lack of self-esteem. All of these when combined rendered me bordering on self-loathing. The addition of alcohol into my psyche finished the job. Yet, even at my lowest, there was some form of moral psychology within me at my deepest level. From that tiny mustard seed has grown a strong sense of The Power Within me. That was simply not possible without the sponsor-driven incorporation of The Twelve Steps in such a was that my life changed - as my psyche changed. I now know the presence of peace in a way far more meaningful than its absence. As a result, I no longer need alcohol to buoy my deadened spirit. As is available to all of us, my spirit has been awakened but will continue to be awakened only by giving myself away.
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